Want more attention? Following are some tips on how to make your profile stand out from the rest.

 

Screen shot 2013-05-31 at 7.35.48 PMYour profile is the most important tool you have when you’re online dating. It’s your marketing vehicle – your entryway to meeting others. It’s a snapshot of who you are, and also a tool to help strike up conversation. Instead of looking at your profile as a form to fill out, it helps to look at it as communication. It’s your pick-up line.

 

Sound intimidating? Don’t let it be. Many daters choose to use generic terms to describe themselves and what they want, so making yourself stand out from the pack is the first step to online dating success.

 

Following are some tips to keep in mind:

 

Don’t make religion your focus. While you might be very devoted, talking only about your religion is not going to set you apart, especially when you’re a member of a Christian dating site. You want to engage others in conversation. Instead of making your religious views the focus of your profile, try talking about other aspects of your life. What makes you want to jump out of bed in the morning? What do you like to do on Saturdays? Getting to know you as a person – outside of your faith – is just as important, no matter how religious you are.

 

Be positive. Instead of framing everything in terms of what you don’t want (“I can’t handle dating someone who doesn’t like baseball”), try framing it in a positive way: “If you’re a baseball fan, I have season tickets to the Dodgers to tempt you. Write to me.”

 

Avoid ex talk. Sure, it’s tempting to include a list of what you’ve learned in your relationship history, but there’s no need to discuss it on your profile. Even phrases like: “My ex would call me introverted” makes it seem like you are still mourning the loss or that you consider your ex important. This isn’t about what your ex thinks – it’s about you.

 

Avoid generalizations. Maybe you’re a good Christian, but don’t describe yourself this way in your profile. Instead, talk about the good deeds you’ve done – how you volunteer at your church, or bring dinners to shut-ins, or teach children bible study classes to grade school kids. Be specific, so your potential dates get a clear picture.

 

Use full sentences. Match.com did a recent study and found that a large majority of online daters are turned off by text speak and grammatical errors. Show that you know how to read and write, and don’t take shortcuts in spelling. Have a friend proof your profile if you’re unsure.

 

Be authentic. Many online daters think they know what others want, and are afraid they fall short. So they lie – by posting a picture from five years ago or fudging age and income a bit, or even by saying they have a PhD when really they barely graduated high school. It doesn’t serve you to be anything less than honest. Your dates will eventually find out, and then where will you stand? Embrace who you are, even your perceived flaws, because the right love interest for you will find you.

 

Happy dating!


Christian couple wonders if they are a match

Christians are people who reflect and search for answers, and the dating arena of life is one requiring a lot of circumspect thought. You wonder if you’re doing the right thing, choosing the right kind of person to date, and so on. Sometimes it helps to put ourselves into the head of a good friend and look at our own lives, to see what friends would say about our choices. Here are 5 questions/cautions from a hypothetical friend who wants the best for us.

 

  1. 1. Why are you dating non-Christians? — are you trying to convert somebody?
  2. Are you expecting to be able to do one of the hardest tasks that exist, all at once on someone you’re trying to get to know? You must be kidding. While faith exhorts us to try to persuade others towards Jesus Christ, it’s utter gall that you would deliberately go out with someone and then try to proselytize. It makes it seem as if you were the prize of Christian faith: “Come to Jesus, and you get me.” It’s a wrongful setup, don’t do it. Most Christians will admit that marriage is the main aim of dating, so you’re looking for a Christian date, not just any date. At the very least, your dates should be believers in God.

     

  3. 2. Stop judging others if you don’t judge yourself.
  4. When you meet someone, you should be asking questions and observing to see if your faith coincides. What you should not be doing is testing or judging the person. If you have a pass/fail checklist for a person, you may be missing the big picture. Maybe this person doesn’t attend services with the same frequency you do, or at all; still this person may have an incredible kind and generous heart. Watch and learn about the total person. However, sometimes the details of your faith or church don’t permit you to consider someone who doesn’t already follow the precise tenets of your religion; but if that isn’t the case, then you may keep this person in consideration. In the meantime, non-romantic activities and meeting up provide even more opportunities to see if this person is for you.

     

    Sometimes we have high expectations about others that are unfair. Not because a person shouldn’t be better, but maybe you aren’t as good as that, either. When you want to be with someone of integrity and high character, start thinking about how YOU can be a better person, who is deserving of a good partner.

     

  5. 3. Faith, yes, but does he also have a good heart and character?
  6. Just because he or she is the right religion or level of faith doesn’t make that person perfect. We still need to align ourselves with a person of good character. And as soon as that phrase is said, you already have a feeling about what it means to you. If someone goes through the motions of being Christian but doesn’t seem sincerely good, loving, generous, kind, honest, and so on… that’s not what you really want, is it? Ask yourself if your best friend would think this is someone good-hearted enough for you.

     

  7. 4. Use your head. Don’t rely on sudden, magical clues
  8. that someone is intended for you by God, when other indicators point in the other direction. The dating and marriage arena is one in which you should be using your God-given sense and following rules the Bible has laid out in choosing a fit partner. Just because a white dove flew down when he walked up to you doesn’t mean God sent it as a sign. Certainly your faith is often inspired by symbols and life signs. But you were given a brain and judgement, don’t waste them. If you’re in doubt you should consult someone of your church you can trust, a friend or even a pastor, and get some perspective.

     

    Snake oil salesmen used to use symbols and signs to trick people into buying what they sold. Don’t you fall for the outer sign when you noticed the substance was faulty.

     

  9. 5. If you practice “Christianity Lite”
  10. — by which I mean you have faith but a tolerance for many divergent routes of Christian life — then look for someone who is at that level of belief too. Don’t let yourself get too involved with someone whose faith is very strict, because it may be tough on you. And you may find yourself trying to change just so that person will continue to see you, or you may find yourself acting a part you don’t feel in your heart. That’s not right, not honest and can hurt both of you when it predictably falls apart.

     

    These days, politics and religion are very intertwined. This site is about Christian dating, not political dating, and we definitely suggest concentrating on your religious preferences rather than the political ones. You are likely to adjust your political thinking to fit with your religion, not the other way around. So the question to ask is if the person you’re interested in matches you in religion, not political leanings. If you clash on some things, you’ll still know that you both believe in God the same way.


Christian beliefs and dating can go togetherSurprisingly, Christian dating sites can help people remember the rules and have a more successful dating experience online than if they were to go it alone and join a secular site. It can be seen that Christian dating is like any other group of people looking for romance: Feeling the great draw towards love, wishing for someone to love and care for makes you go a little nuts and perhaps be impulsive. Because they’re looking to eventually marry, not date recreationally forever, Christians have to be careful they don’t choose the wrong person.

Online Dating Advantages

First, there’s the advantage of not being there. Yes — NOT being there physically in person. You get a buffer zone, a layer of distance, so you can think before you act. You can look at a person’s photo, their profile, and see if both together still look good and match what’s in your heart as well as what you know is suitable for you. You can tread carefully and try to get to know the person, and if it seems wrong for you, you can decline to pursue a relationship without the stress of, say, having to refuse a person’s phone call or invitation to his face. And if you do send an email to someone and then realize that person has entirely different attitudes than you do, you can back off in email more easily than in person. We just suggest you do it gracefully. Anyone can make a mistake.

Sites For Christians Should Offer Suitable Communication Avenues

Secondly, you want a dating site with chat rooms, definitely. This is another advantage. These should be “safe zones.” There may be structured topics or polls to answer on these, which helps guide the talk. Not only can you find out some people who think like you do, but you can begin the process of getting to know someone who grabs your interest. If someone you notice never shows up in chat, you might be able to invite them.

Emailing and instant messages are usually offered on sites too, and these should be used carefully. For one thing, the rule of respecting other people should be followed online and especially on a Christian site. So messages should be answered, politely. Courtesy can soften a blow, which you’ll appreciate if you’re on the receiving end. These are just the beginning stages of interaction so you shouldn’t feel let down if things don’t start to happen for a while. And the nicer you are about being told, “Sorry, not interested” the more likely the other person will remember it. In fact, a courteous exchange makes it possible to speak again at a later date. After all, people do change their minds.

And of course if you ever receive a problem or unpleasant communication from a member, report it to the site administration right away. When you — or another person — says no to an invitation to date or email further, it means no and had better be respected or again it is a matter to report to the administrator.

Profiles Can Identify Co-Believers

Read people’s profiles carefully. The text that a member provides describing himself /herself should describe the person’s general relationship to God, or the church he attends, or other details of his beliefs. If they don’t mention it, it may not be important to them, unless they are unused to dating sites and writing a full personal profile. Christian-oriented sites frequently help members identify others of the same faith by categorizing them, or providing appropriate questions in personality questionnaires. Check your site for what methods they may use.

Christian Dating Advice Is Often Provided

Nearly every site worth its salt has some dating tips and advice geared towards its Christian membership. Don’t overlook it. There may be Bible quotations, religious reminders, and so on. Read it to recall why you’re there. The very existence of dating sites is due to our need and wish for love, and in fact we are encouraged to love. Christianity is all about it, isn’t it? So remind yourself of the role a single person of faith should be fulfilling, and don’t fall short of your own principles. Spend time with your thoughts about what love ideally consists of, how a loved person should be spoken to, and raise your mind — you’re a person with a full heart, ready to offer it. You have a wonderful thing to give.


Couple of faith meets on Christian dating site, now on a real date



Finding love on one of the better Christian dating sites for an exclusive long term relationship and marriage, can be a great or difficult journey.

 

As followers of the one who changed the world, Christians walk a special path. It is not the main way, it is a less-traveled one; and when we look for love and eventually a partner to share our lives with, we know that person has to be special too. In the search for someone who shares our beliefs and faith, online dating sites can be a big help. It’s no wonder that a special category of Christian dating has emerged and grown. Still, these sites should be navigated with care when you’re out to find a Christian match.

How Can You Tell The Site Is Christian?

You can’t tell a site is Christian simply because of its name, or because the search engines classify it as such. However, the fact that it is called a Christian dating site means it will attract people interested in others of the same faith or spirituality. And the people who make up its membership are the main thing. Other features that help make a Christian atmosphere are the advice columns and blogs, any religious question-and-answer materials inside, and the general manner in which the matchups are assisted.

Why Look For Christian Dating Sites?

Christians are urged to look for partners who are also Christian. You’ll hear the phrase “equally yoked” often, and it refers to a Bible passage describing the need to be similar in both the type of faith and the depth of your commitment to that faith, when you decide to spend your life with the other person. Online dating sites and especially Christian ones can actually help you find out both of those things. On signup, the dating site eHarmony asks its members to complete detailed personality profiles aimed at helping uncover specific values and fundamental attitudes. They report that this method reveals compatibility very successfully.

Describe Your Beliefs

A website which allows you to identify your values, and targets matches for you with others who share those values and religious beliefs, is likely to be a respectful one. ChristianMingle, for example, asks you to name your church right off the bat, as well as how often you attend services. Naturally, you don’t have to date within a specific denomination, but the site’s algorithms may find matches far more easily when it has that information. If you browse profiles on a site, you may need to find out what some of the many types of churches and denominations are. And more importantly, what are the deal-breakers, for you? If a partner must share your belief in infant baptism, it’s better to find out before trying to set up a date with someone who believes differently. ChristianCafe, for example, is a Christian-owned and run site so it may help you find out details on different denominations.

Dating Can Start Online

Via the internet we can chat and participate in forums on all sorts of interests without having to meet first. On a dating site there are forums and chatrooms, all meant for these initial contacts. The sites themselves may offer various topics anyone can speak up about, and sometimes blogs for members to express themselves. Taking part in chat will help you identify a few things about others — and you can invite someone whose profile interests you to enter the chat, too. It’s an opportunity to sound them out on a few things, get to know them a bit. That first conversation doesn’t have to be awkward, because you began it online at home. If you decide to set up a date you’ll have at least some idea of who this person is beforehand.

Use The Site’s Features

When you’ve joined a Christian dating or personals site make sure you explore it — look around. Find your way to the chatrooms and see what people are talking about there; ask customer service about things you may not be able to find; and if the site sends messages to you, take a good look at them. The administration may ask you questions that will help guide you in your search for that special someone. And when emails or personal messages come in, treat them seriously. A Christian site is YOUR dating arena — and people with similar ideas are arriving here all the time, making online dating an excellent possibility for discovering love that can be lifelong — or more.


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